Setbacks

The plan was to phase out league play so I could save up and play in ranked tournaments.  The Marion Carli Memorial tournament back in June was supposed to be the first, but that was not to be as I was robbed of my ability to walk by transverse myelitis.  
With time and therapy my ability to walk got better and better, going from using a walker to now, where I just need a cane.  
I accepted that the Marion Carli tournament had come and gone, and instead set my sites on the Find a Part Classic in Waterloo that is happening this very weekend.  
Sadly however my life is in flux, and because of my current level of ability I am not really able to be employed at my job anymore, effectively being forced to retire by a fluke disease from a job I did for 17 years.
The future though is positive as I look forward to training, learning, finding something new, but for right now, money is tight and no tournament for me.
This is all incredibly disappointing and frustrating, but it is also life. 
I now have the Bob Jones memorial tournament to look forward to, next month in Trenton.  It looks to be bigger than either of the tournaments I missed.
You know that through all of the ups and downs I have been practicing and have been trying to practice intelligently.  My darts I feel are the best they have ever been, and that I have improved more in my baseline ability in the last year than the previous five years combined.  
Yet, if I do make it to the Bob Jones (which is still very much up in the air) how will my own personal 'best ever' even hope to hold up to experienced and nationally ranked players? 
Why put the effort in anyway?
Well because I am throwing the best I ever have,and playing in a competitive manner, is how I enjoy the game, and that playing great players is an opportunity to learn and grow, to get knocked down and get back up again, stronger and wiser.  Because, I believe in myself, believe that I can be the best, my best , because that is the only best I am responsible for.
Because, as much as it can frustrate me, I love this game.
Because there is a prophecy.
​Setbacks be damned. 

Please wish me luck making it out to the Bob Jones Tournament.